Things to be Proud of, If only I could

hello every one reading.

today i started the day by tweaking an email, and telling my friends what i was up to and that today was one day when i needed to know some one was thinking of me, it was a prayer forward wich i dont normally do as i dont like forwarding emails in chains, so i rearanged it added my own touches and passed it on, if ur a friend and u didnt get it thats cos i only sent it back to the person i got it from an a christian friend (who i know is christian) but if u want it just ask an ur welcome to have it, i will say the prayer for u before i send it, then u say the prayer for the person/s ur sending it to, but u copy and paste it rather than forward it. that way u can add any personal message.

so y did i need to know some one was thinking of me today. well as my friends know im staying at my sisters and this week she is away, im guinea pig sitting.

any ways iv been a bit up and down, this is the first time in over 10 years iv spend any real lengh of time on my own, especially nights, iv been struggling a bit as i find it hard knowing no one else is coming home. today i had to go to the doctors to get a meds perscription for my next weeks meds, (i can only have one week at a time because of things in my past) so i have to go 4 stops on the metro, turn right out the station and walk straight up the road, (its a loonnngggg road) ok all good and well, i know how to get to the metro from here thats not a problem, i dont know what zone ticket i need so i decided to buy a daysaver to be safe as that will let me travel the whole metro system to my hearts desire for the one ticket. i get on the metro, they anounce the station i need for some reason so i knew i wouldnt miss it, i get off, i trun right out of the station, but think it doesnt look right so i go the other way, now i know that isnt right so i go back, finally i see some thing i know, so i head to the docs, i get seen, i wall down that loonnngggg road again get the metro to my brothers wich is one stop before mine, after being there a while i get the metro one stop go to the supermarket to do food shoping then come home,

so most of u will probably do stuff like that every day, but for us, we had never been on the metro alone, we did it 3 times today, we have never walk that road alone, we did it 2 time, we have never been to that doctors alone before, we did that today, we even saw a male doctor on r own. we dont often do that, especially not when we dont know them.

if u had done all of that today most of it for the first time ever u would feel proud and rightly so, but for us that doesnt happen, i was out most of the time and every one inside was there for me all the way, they r proud of me, and i am proud of them, but i am not proud of me and they r not proud of them, being proud of r selves is some thing we have never learnt to feel, and on days like today it drives us nuts, we would like to feel proud of what we have done as a whole.

oh well i guess it will come one day.

so while out shopping we didnt just buy food lol i am as bad as gem for spending money, i bought an mp3 player that has 4gb space, (how on earth am i going to fill it, i didnt even fill the 1gb one i started of with a year ago) i also bought a digital camera (y? because i could, i mean my phone has a 5mp camera so y do i need a seprate digital camera that is a 5mp camera?) i got some water color penciles, paper, and some pastles as i dont do them and really should try. a new eeyore mug (for those who dont know us we r THE bigest eeyore fans) its so cute it says hello eeyore on it and there r 2 eeyores one is looking at a ladybird on the ground and the other is looking at one in the sky (his expresion is of shock) i got a cd, best of ronan keeton, (it was in the sale £3 or $5) i got for £5 about $9 garfield the movie 1 and 2 box set. iv seen 1 and the kids loved is so im sure they will love 2 as well. oh and yes i even remembered all the batterys for those electrical items... great once home i find out they all have batterys included? when did companys starting doing that? i thought the in thing to do was not give u them so u can use that toy on christmas morning. oh well i guess they think its not christmas its ok,

i wanted to get a microphone, u know a propper one like singers used to use all the time, the conection was a large jack and they didnt sell the adapters, so if i can get an adapter ill go back.

spoke to my sister today twice, once to give me info on the mountain and exact route they were walking and when they would be back and call, so if any thing went wrong and i didnt hear from them and the flat owner couldnt get an answer we would know where to send searches, (its the best kind of thing to do when ur mountain walking especially here in the UK as the weather can turn in minutes) then i spoke to her once she got back all safe and sound, dan managed to climb the mountain too.. tomorrow they r going to sky (scotland) so they have to be up early to get the ferry.

blogger has now added gadges so we r going to find some games to add to the kids blog.

gem went on a site yesterday called www.ourWorld.com it crashed rachels heap of a computer but from what every says it was fun, and they didnt have to download any thing, being on r sisters computer we dont want to be downloading stuff that we will need to then download again.

gem and i just have to stop being lazy and get the laptop out and on the desk after we have cleared it and plug it in to the router and see if we can get online that way.

i best leave this (wonder what the max lengh is)
and say thanks for reading if u did and if u didnt well i dont have to say any thing to u cos u wont be reading this..

Jo (an co)